Memento Mori.
It’s a latin phrase that means “Remember you must die”.
In his Meditations, Marcus Aurelius (yes, the old guy in the beginning of Gladiator) wrote this:
You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.
As a fella well into his 40s, my perspective on life has changed a good bit, even over the last couple years, and I find myself thinking about this phrase a lot (I’m gonna ramble here, so apologies in advance).
This is bound to happen when you get older. You take stock of your life… where you’ve been, where you are, and where you hopefully want to go before you wrap it all up.
You also start thinking about the decisions you’ve made to get where you are.
And the regrets.
I used to feel a lot of shame about having regrets. That’s what you’re supposed to feel, right? That’s what the song lyrics or the gurus will tell you… “live your life with no regrets” or something. Having regrets must mean that you haven’t lived a good life.
Well, that’s just bullshit.
I don’t consider myself to be all that wise… or even all that smart. But I have lived a bit. I’ve also dealt with a pretty rough case of self-doubt and low self-esteem my entire life. As I looked back, this caused me to have a ton of regrets, which adds to the self doubt, and down the spiral I would go.
But as I got older, I realized something. This is all part of the human experience.
Everyone has made decisions they would like to take back. Everyone has fear and, at least occasionally, self doubt. Everyone is a beginner at some point. Everyone has obstacles to overcome.
If someone tells you they have no regrets in life, they’re either lying or they’re a complete narcissist.
But worse than that, they will never grow or evolve.
Now, don’t get me wrong… regrets can cause some people to evolve in the wrong direction. But when we’re faced with, and actually confront our regrets, we have two choices. We can let them push us to improve, or we can let them pull us down the spiral.
Even if we give into the spiral, all that does is create another regret that will give us another chance to make that choice. The more regrets build and the farther down the spiral we go, the more reason we have to take a look at our lives and decide to make a change.
Why should we be ashamed of that?
There are some people who will sadly never make that choice, though. They like the false sense of comfort that comes with avoiding it. They’ll make every excuse and blame someone else or some circumstance that is preventing them from taking action.
I get it… it’s not easy.
It requires that you forgive yourself for the actions (or inactions) of your past. Some people never get there.
But if you can look at regrets as the driving force that I believe they were meant to be, rather than something to be ashamed of, it makes taking action a little bit easier.
Making the choice to change might be difficult and painful. The regret you feel if you continue to slip down the spiral will be difficult and painful. There will be pain either way, but only one of those two options guarantees it and guarantees more pain in the future.
You are the only one that can make that choice. No one is coming to save you. Your situation may not be entirely your fault, but you are the one choosing to live with it. That also means it’s within your power to improve, if you choose to.
If you can relate — maybe you regret things you’ve done or things you haven’t done — I would just like to remind you that your time here is limited.
Embrace your regrets. Let them drive you to action. But don’t put it off too long.
Memento Mori.
Remember, you must die.
So anyway…
Welcome to the updated newsletter!
If you’re wondering what Sketch Foundry is or why you’re seeing this, it’s the new name for what was the Ancient Astronaut Cartoons newsletter from Brad Samuelson (me). If you missed the announcement, you can check it out here.
It won’t always be philosophical ramblings like this… it’s just something that’s been on my mind and I thought was relevant to creative people. Usually I’ll write about illustration, storytelling, comics, that sort of thing… and also be less morbid.
Thanks for reading!
-Brad
Insightful and right on!❤